Monthly Archive: September 2012
Thank you to Ms. B for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.
1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?
When I was in high school, everyone used to tell me that I looked like Mayim Bailik (Blossom then and Big Bang Theory now), but I think that’s because we both were mousy and had big noses. I really don’t feel that we look anything like now, if we even did then. I tried to use some celebrity face recognition online software to find an actress that looks like me, but I couldn’t find anything definitive.
2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?
For my whole life (it seems, but at least since I was 12), Johnny Depp has been the hottest male celebrity. No doubt about it. As for females, I think Scarlett Johanssen is so hot that it gives me physical pain in my loins. Beyond a shadow of a doubt I would have sex with them if I had the chance. At the same time? I think I would die!
3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?
There really isn’t much that I wouldn’t admit to my friends. But I guess I get embarrassed by the fact that I want to be mistreated and used by Snoop Dogg.
4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?
As of right this moment, I am ashamed to say that the only celebrity sex tape I’ve ever seen is Tonya Harding’s and that was many, many years ago. All I remember about it is that her titties were nasty-looking. I think I’m going to go home tonight and do some research on other videos!
5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be their’s?
Roland and I have an open relationship, so we don’t need that celebrity “hall pass” list that many people have.
6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?
Stephen King!!! OMG, I gave him Junior Mints at a book signing in November 2011, he gave me a hive five, and I almost passed out. He’s just such a cool guy, I’d love the opportunity to just hang out and talk to him.
Bonus: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?
Well, considering I have sex with people outside of my relationship already for free, if someone offered me $1M to do it, I would say, “HELL FUCKING YES!” Unless it was someone really gross.
Thank you to Andee for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.
Strip for me, I’ll strip for you
|No, I don’t do windows, why do you ask?|
This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.
1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.
Specifically, no. I have been masturbating for as long as I can remember. I can tell you that I knowingly had my first orgasm around the age of 10 in the shower or bathtub as a result of a steady stream of water on my clit. I don’t really recall how I knew that would feel good, but it was probably the best discovery of my life.
2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc).
Currently I am only able to have clitoral orgasms.
3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc).
What I would love more than anything in the world would be the ability to have an orgasm just from fucking Roland. He is the only person I have ever been with that makes me want to cum during sex. His magnificent cock hits me in just the right spot where I feel like I must cum, but I still have to play with my clit in order to make it happen. There have been times when I felt SO VERY CLOSE but I just failed to go over the edge, despite all my best efforts.
4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?
Not that I am aware of.
5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm?
The fastest and easiest way for me to have an orgasm is with direct clitoral stimulation with a powerful vibrator. However, in order for it to be really easy, I have to start off completely cold. If everything is exactly right, I can get off in around 2 minutes flat.
6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm?
It really depends. Because my orgasms can take so much work, I am not necessarily orgasmically-minded. It’s not my primary focus. So I go through phases where I may only orgasm once or twice a week. Sometimes not at all. Every so often, I’ll cum like 5 times in one week. That’s really kind of a lot for me.
7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first?
I am able to simultaneously orgasm with my partner only with very careful planning, but it has happened. I prefer for my partners to cum first, because I don’t necessarily care if I do at all.
8 – Can you have multiples?
No. At most I have had 2 orgasm back-to-back.
9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm?
As I said above, if I am masturbating and everything is just right, I can cum in about 2 minutes. However, if there has been any stimulation at all (including nipples and non-genital areas) it can take much longer. I would say that on average, it probably takes me 15 minutes.
10 – Have you ever faked one?
I am not proud to say that yes, I have faked it a time or two. I have had partners who were not necessarily bad, but just couldn’t do it without very specific instruction at the exact right moment.
I wanted to participate in the competition for today, but unfortunately neither did an idea spark nor did I have time to kindle one. I was out of town for the weekend, and instead leave you with the gift I received upon coming home.
|Cumming at home|
|I still have this dress in the back of my closet.
One day I’ll wear it again. After I lose 50lbs.
As was the story with most of my relationships for the first decade and a half of my adulthood, it was centered mostly on sex. Once the sex slowed down, as it will tend to do in most relationships after the “honeymoon period,” the problems arose. I’m not even going to begin to get into any of those issues, because there were many, and that’s not what this post is about.
Those first few months living together were great. We fucked all the time and loudly. For the first time we were able to be completely unrestrained and uninhibited. We also had little to no self-awareness about how much noise we were making. Our building was a quadplex with two apartments downstairs and two apartment upstairs. And apparently the walls were thin.
What brought it all home for us was one Saturday afternoon. We were not fucking, for a change, but we were lounging around in bed. We heard our across-the-hall neighbors having sex. And it was obvious that they were trying to be quiet. The only sounds they were making were some squeaky springs and heavy breathing. Not even any moans or cries. But we heard it all as if it was happening in the room with us.
After that day, we started to notice the other sounds we could hear. We’d never met the guy who lived upstairs, Al (we knew his name from mis-delivered mail), but we could hear his alarm clock in the morning, and hear him padding around his bedroom once he got up and before he went to bed. He never had anyone over for sex as far as we could tell.
He began to play into our fantasies, however. We were excited at the thought of him listening to us up there, his bed directly above ours, maybe stroking his cock. We also used to joke if he thought and/or worried about us from time to time. “I haven’t heard the dykes downstairs fucking for a few days. I wonder if they’re having a fight?? I hope everything’s okay.”
We also had this grand fantasy of having a quadplex fuck-off. The idea was that we would coordinate with our neighbors (none of whom we ever met, now that I think about it), and we would all plan to have a fuckathon at the same time to see who could be the loudest. In our little make-believe ideal, we would also have our windows open to share our joyous noises with the neighborhood, and hope to inspire more.
Under her hands, mouth, and tongue, I learned firsthand exactly what all of the exquisite torture I used to give my Angel felt like. In fact, not long after I had been thoroughly fucked by her several times, I made a lunch date with Angel and apologized profusely for never giving her a break. She got a big laugh out of that, saying that no apologies were required but she was glad I found what what it was like.
I also learned that, while it’s not exactly the same thing, the right dildo can be just as hot and satisfying as a real cock. Aside from masturbation, my only experiences with double-penetration have been with her. She never used an actual strap-on with me, but she did have a nice array of different sizes and lengths and we tried them all.
While the relationship itself was a disaster, she had an indelible impact on my life. I feel her presence in my life every day. Mostly because she had a large role in completely reshaping my tastes in music. When she and I met, I was listening to mostly Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson. She joined a band that would become my favorite band of all-time, Mofro. Through her I learned an appreciate for jazz, blues, soul, and even rap. If it were not for her, my musical tastes would not be nearly as eclectic as they are now. For that, I’ll forever be grateful.
One other interesting thing I wanted to share that came as a result of our relationship was something I like to call the Lesbian Name Game. I actually haven’t thought about it in a really long time until I started writing this. See, the Lesbian Name Game predicts the evolution of a woman’s name as she embraces being a lesbian. You start with a feminine given name which becomes a shortened masculine nickname and eventually ends up as just an initial. We saw this happen many times in the local community. For example, Bernice become Bernie and finally just Bea. Tonya would turn into Tony and then just T. She was actually never known as Bernie (I actually used to call her ‘ma bella Bernicio’ incorporating her middle initial O), but I did go through a Tony phase for a while. While I am no longer consider myself a lesbian, except for part-time sometimes for the right girl, many of my friends do call me T.
The first place we went was my old favorite, Wackos. We stayed there for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. The vibe was totally different from how it used to be. The service sucked. And of the 6 girls we saw dance on stage (although the sign outside advertised 50), 4 of them were so skinny that it made me sick to my stomach. I am NOT attracted to skinny girls in the least. This one Cuban girl, though, she was yummy and I tipped her twice. I told her that I wanted to be smothered in her thighs. They were divine! She sat with us for a short while until she went on stage again. I was going to get a VIP dance from her, but she was lured away by a big group throwing around money as soon as she got off stage.
After that girl left was when the real fun began. Most of the girls were hot and/or energetic, looking like they were having a good time despite it being a relatively slow night. My favorite was a leggy redhead who was 5′ 9 1/2″ without her heels and who danced to “It’s No Good” by Depeche Mode. She instantly won my heart and I told her my name is “Yours” before offering her everything I have: my car, my man, my bank account. She said she had all of those things already, so I told her I have a cat I could offer. She said she could use a cat and I said that I think she would really love my pussy. 😉 My other favorite was a short, dark-skinned girl in glasses with an ass that was to die for. In fact, when I went up to tip her, she thoroughly assaulted my face and breasts with that ass. My boobs felt bruised afterward! It was fantastic! The girls that Roland tipped always waved me up to the stage to sandwich me between them and Roland so they could grope me and purr in my ear (which is apparently a specialty of the house because they all did it, save for that first girl). You know how hot that was! The shooter girl also took a fancy to me and screamed my name every time she came by like I was some kind of celebrity. She’d told me that she was actually a dancer but they were short-staffed and needed a shooter girl. She was smokin’ hot, too.
All in all, it was a great night. I came home smelling like delicious strippers and then Roland fucked me twice, until my pussy was too sore for more. He and I have decided that we will becoming regulars there. Who knows what wild tales I’ll soon have to tell?
A while back I posted a pic titled “That’s not my hand,” which remains one of my most popular posts to date. Think of this as a companion to that one.
|Fancy a reach-around, guv’nah?|