The real-life adventures of a girl who is willing to try just about anything.

Monthly Archive: September 2012

TMI Tuesday – Celebrity Sex-a-thon!

Thank you to Ms. B for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

Celebrity Sex-a-thon!

1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?
When I was in high school, everyone used to tell me that I looked like Mayim Bailik (Blossom then and Big Bang Theory now), but I think that’s because we both were mousy and had big noses. I really don’t feel that we look anything like now, if we even did then. I tried to use some celebrity face recognition online software to find an actress that looks like me, but I couldn’t find anything definitive.

2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?
For my whole life (it seems, but at least since I was 12), Johnny Depp has been the hottest male celebrity. No doubt about it. As for females, I think Scarlett Johanssen is so hot that it gives me physical pain in my loins. Beyond a shadow of a doubt I would have sex with them if I had the chance. At the same time? I think I would die!

3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?
There really isn’t much that I wouldn’t admit to my friends. But I guess I get embarrassed by the fact that I want to be mistreated and used by Snoop Dogg.

4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?
As of right this moment, I am ashamed to say that the only celebrity sex tape I’ve ever seen is Tonya Harding’s and that was many, many years ago. All I remember about it is that her titties were nasty-looking. I think I’m going to go home tonight and do some research on other videos!

5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be their’s?
Roland and I have an open relationship, so we don’t need that celebrity “hall pass” list that many people have.

6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?
Stephen King!!! OMG, I gave him Junior Mints at a book signing in November 2011, he gave me a hive five, and I almost passed out. He’s just such a cool guy, I’d love the opportunity to just hang out and talk to him.

Bonus: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?
Well, considering I have sex with people outside of my relationship already for free, if someone offered me $1M to do it, I would say, “HELL FUCKING YES!” Unless it was someone really gross.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

TMI Tuesday – Strip for me, I’ll strip for you

Thank you to Andee for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

Strip for me, I’ll strip for you

1. Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?
Yes, on many occasions. At first it was probably prompted by an excess of alcohol. However, in later years I did it just because it’s hot!
2. Have you been to a strip club? Was it what you expected?
I have been to many strip clubs many times. It’s been so long since my first time, that I can’t even begin to remember what my initial expectations were. A long time ago, I was hanging out with/fucking this guy with whom I worked. He was a bartender, I was a cocktail waittress. After work almost every night and on our nights off, we would go to this one strip club called Wacko’s. He spent so much money in there that they used to call him the Mayor of Wacko’s. Not only did he not believe in tipping with singles, he tipped based on songs and his favorite bands. The girls knew “his” music and would fight over who got to dance to it. He always paid for drinks, and I got several lap dances each night. It was good to be friends with the Mayor!
3. Have you ever been to an “amateur night” at a strip club?
Now that I think about it, I don’t know that I have. However, there are always so many new girls that almost any night can be an amateur night.
4. Do you think strip clubs are exploitative or are they misunderstood as simple adult entertainment venues?
In general, I do not feel they are exploitative. They present an opportunity for women to make a good, honest living. However, I find it sad that so many women feel as if becoming a dancer is their only option, due to lack of education or other reasons. In that way, there are venues that can be exploitative because they take advantage of the girls who feel they have no other choice. 
5. Would you ever consider stripping to pay for college or other expenses?
Actually, in my fresh adulthood I applied at several places. The very first place I ever applied was actually Wacko’s, although I quickly rescinded the application. I was barely 18 in the summer after high school graduation. Back then I was not the brazen chick you all know now. I was still a bit inhibited and very naive. My 31-year-old biker boyfriend (Yes, really. He was my date for the senior prom!) took me in there and I thought I could do it. That is, until I saw the girl on stage lick her own nipple. Believe it or not, that was enough to scare me away! I thought I’d never be able to do something like that. Haha, if only that sweet, young girl could see me now!
6. Have you ever given your partner a private dance?
Oh yes, many times. I think it is very erotic to dance and do a striptease for your partner.
7. Would you ever perform a lap dance for a complete stranger?
Under the right circumstances, perhaps. I can’t say for sure that I haven’t done it before. I’ve given a lot of highly inebriated lap dances in public places before. 🙂
8. Showgirls, Strip Tease, Magic Mike … What is the sexy Hollywood stripper scene you have ever YouTubed?

To tell the truth, the only Hollywood stripper scene I have ever YouTubed was Channing Tatum’s dance to “My Pony” by Ginuwine. And that was mostly so I could find out what that song that had been stuck in my head since seeing the movie was! Watching him dance was incredibly hot! My BFF and I were like, “OMG, can I just be the floor, please???”
Although I haven’t seen it in a long while, so I can’t say for sure if it holds up, my favorite stripper movie ever is Exotica starring Mia Kirshner, Bruce Greenwood, and Elias Koteas. I need to see that again!

Bonus: Do you have a stripper fantasy, that given the chance of not being found out, you would turn into a reality?
The only stripper fantasy I have involves me having the physique to be able to do it myself, including all of those nifty pole tricks. I am a sucker for pole tricks! Being found out or not has no bearing on it at all.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

Sinful Sunday – Against the glass

This is not the post I had intended for today. I’ve been sick for the past week, so I haven’t been up to much that’s sinful. I had Blogger open with a picture that I took for Roland last weekend when I was out of town. Then Roland calls me into the kitchen because one of “our” barred owls was roosting in the tree next to the deck. He knows I never miss a chance to quietly watch these majestic creatures.
As I leaned against the sliding glass door watching the wildlife in my backyard—blue jays trying to run off the owl, squirrels frolicking in the branches, two downy woodpeckers chasing each other—Roland reached around and started playing with my nipples. I moaned and spread my fingers on the glass.

“I can smell your pussy,” he growls into my ear. When he reached down to finger my clit, he asked me why I was so wet. Since I’d been sick all week, I haven’t been in the mood but I was so ready now! I answered by grinding my pussy into his hand. He proceeded to finger me, swat my ass, and pull my nipples until I was writhing against the glass. Finally I heard the sound I’d been waiting for: his zipper and he pants dropping around his ankles.
No, I don’t do windows, why do you ask?

He fucked me like that against the glass until I felt as if my legs could no longer hold me up. He makes me weak in the knees even when I haven’t been sick, but combined with my lack of strength from illness, I thought I was going to fall down. When I lowered myself down the glass a bit, it made it possible for him to fuck me even deeper than before and brought him quickly to climax.
Fortunately, his phone was nearby to snap a pic that could be shared with you all. 🙂

Posted in participation with Sinful Sunday, hosted by Molly’s Daily Kiss.

Click below to see who else is doing it like they do it on Discovery Channel this Sunday.

TMI Tuesday – The Big O

This week’s theme “Orgasms” and the questions are brought to you by Naughty Tashamber.

The Big O

1 – Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.
Specifically, no. I have been masturbating for as long as I can remember. I can tell you that I knowingly had my first orgasm around the age of 10 in the shower or bathtub as a result of a steady stream of water on my clit. I don’t really recall how I knew that would feel good, but it was probably the best discovery of my life.

2 – What is your favorite way to orgasm? (Sex, g-spot/p-spot, oral, etc).
Currently I am only able to have clitoral orgasms.

3 – Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, p-spot/g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc).
What I would love more than anything in the world would be the ability to have an orgasm just from fucking Roland. He is the only person I have ever been with that makes me want to cum during sex. His magnificent cock hits me in just the right spot where I feel like I must cum, but I still have to play with my clit in order to make it happen. There have been times when I felt SO VERY CLOSE but I just failed to go over the edge, despite all my best efforts.

4 – Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?
Not that I am aware of.

5 – What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm?
The fastest and easiest way for me to have an orgasm is with direct clitoral stimulation with a powerful vibrator. However, in order for it to be really easy, I have to start off completely cold. If everything is exactly right, I can get off in around 2 minutes flat.

6 – How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm?
It really depends. Because my orgasms can take so much work, I am not necessarily orgasmically-minded. It’s not my primary focus. So I go through phases where I may only orgasm once or twice a week. Sometimes not at all. Every so often, I’ll cum like 5 times in one week. That’s really kind of a lot for me.

7 – Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first?
I am able to simultaneously orgasm with my partner only with very careful planning, but it has happened. I prefer for my partners to cum first, because I don’t necessarily care if I do at all.

8 – Can you have multiples?
No. At most I have had 2 orgasm back-to-back.

9 – How long does it normally take you to reach orgasm?
As I said above, if I am masturbating and everything is just right, I can cum in about 2 minutes. However, if there has been any stimulation at all (including nipples and non-genital areas) it can take much longer. I would say that on average, it probably takes me 15 minutes.

10 – Have you ever faked one?
I am not proud to say that yes, I have faked it a time or two. I have had partners who were not necessarily bad, but just couldn’t do it without very specific instruction at the exact right moment.


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

She keeps time

I ran into my ex-girlfriend at the grocery store last night. Not my Princess Angel. The drummer. So you know what that means. Yes, that’s right. A trip in the “WABAC (way back) Machine, Mr. Peabody.” (50 Cool Points for that if you catch the reference without clicking the link.)
While my Angel was my first girl love, the drummer was my first girl relationship. It started with a bang and ended with one, too, albeit of a different sort.

In my late 20’s I decided to abstain from men for a period that ultimately lasted about 4 years. I hadn’t permanently sworn off men, or even meant for it to go that long. I just figured out that I had been dating the wrong sorts of men for me. I realized that I needed to get away from the “bad boys” I was meeting. I promised myself I wouldn’t date another guy until I was back in school. My theory that meeting a guy in school would: A. be reasonably intelligent, B. have some sort of goals and/or ambition, and/or C. share some common interests with me if I met him in one of my classes.
I decided to spend time pursuing women to see if I fared better with them. While I had learned that it was possible to truly love another woman, I didn’t yet know that I would be able to actually have a relationship with one. I thought that it might feel as if something was missing. I went on a few dates, but none of them went any further than the first date.
Bea and I were introduced by a lesbian couple with whom we were mutual friends. She was invited over to hang out with us one night at my brother’s house and she and I hit it off right from the start.  She had such a bright smile, a booming laugh, and twinkly, mischievous eyes. Not to mention hips and an ass that made my mouth water, nice and wide!
I don’t remember where we went on our first date a week later, but it was probably Olive Garden because that was one of her favorite restaurants. I do remember that I wore my first-ever “little black dress” and a pair of very hot, strappy black wedge heels. We met for our date at a local music store, and she walked right past me because she didn’t recognize me. I watched her look around for a minute or two, completely looking past me once again before she saw me. “Daaaaaaamn!” was all she could say.
I still have this dress in the back of my closet.
One day I’ll wear it again. After I lose 50lbs.

After dinner we went to hang out with some of her other musician friends. We had a few drinks and got high while we were there, but didn’t really get to talk much. What I remember most about that night was one of the things I did to impress her: I held a live Mexican red-kneed tarantula and let it crawl up my bare arm, although I was at the time extremely arachnophobic. It’s amazing the things we do to impress those we like. (Once I also jumped off a bridge once into a rushing river to impress a guy.) 
At the end of the night she walked me out to my car. Once we were there she told me that she really liked me and had a fantastic time, but that her ex-girlfriend had just asked her if they could give it another chance. She explained that this had been back and forth for a couple years now, but that she loved her ex and had to give it one last shot. Then she kissed me in a way that sent electricity through my body and brought tears to my eyes.
Unsurprisingly things didn’t work out with her ex, but we were kept apart again when she was offered and opportunity to play drums for an up-and-coming band. In Orlando. 
One night while she was living in Orlando, she and I were having some seriously steamy phone sex when I decided on a spur of the moment to shower and drive down to visit her. At 2am. Wearing only a black nighty, those strappy heels, and a black trench coat. I didn’t even think to pack an overnight bag. The look on her face when she opened the door was priceless. The what-ifs of the situation didn’t occur to me until later: What if I’d gotten an flat tire? What if I’d been pulled over? What if my car broke down? 
It was the wee hours of July 4th and I didn’t have to be back to work until the 6th. We fucked until the sun came up before we finally feel asleep. It was when we woke up later in the afternoon that I realized I didn’t even have anything to wear. I borrowed some clothes and shoes from her, then we went to partake of the Independence Day festivities at Universal City Walk. To this day, that ranks as the most dazzling fireworks display I have ever seen.
A few months later she moved back from Orlando and that’s when she and I began to see each other in earnest. Translation: we would go out for a dinner/movie/show/drinks/whatever and then go back to her parents’ house where she was living and try to fuck as quietly as possible. Her parents were elderly, in their 60’s (she was a love child, the only child her parents had together when her mom was 40) so we did our best to keep it down, but it was very difficult. One night we got a motel room just so we could be as loud as we wanted.
I was renting a room from my sister and her fiance at the time, but spent most nights with her. I don’t recall her ever coming to my place. Finally after about two months we decided to get an apartment together, beginning a very tumultuous year and a half.

As was the story with most of my relationships for the first decade and a half of my adulthood, it was centered mostly on sex. Once the sex slowed down, as it will tend to do in most relationships after the “honeymoon period,” the problems arose. I’m not even going to begin to get into any of those issues, because there were many, and that’s not what this post is about.

Those first few months living together were great. We fucked all the time and loudly. For the first time we were able to be completely unrestrained and uninhibited. We also had little to no self-awareness about how much noise we were making. Our building was a quadplex with two apartments downstairs and two apartment upstairs. And apparently the walls were thin.

What brought it all home for us was one Saturday afternoon. We were not fucking, for a change, but we were lounging around in bed. We heard our across-the-hall neighbors having sex. And it was obvious that they were trying to be quiet. The only sounds they were making were some squeaky springs and heavy breathing. Not even any moans or cries. But we heard it all as if it was happening in the room with us.

After that day, we started to notice the other sounds we could hear. We’d never met the guy who lived upstairs, Al (we knew his name from mis-delivered mail), but we could hear his alarm clock in the morning, and hear him padding around his bedroom once he got up and before he went to bed. He never had anyone over for sex as far as we could tell.

He began to play into our fantasies, however. We were excited at the thought of him listening to us up there, his bed directly above ours, maybe stroking his cock. We also used to joke if he thought and/or worried about us from time to time. “I haven’t heard the dykes downstairs fucking for a few days. I wonder if they’re having a fight?? I hope everything’s okay.”

We also had this grand fantasy of having a quadplex fuck-off. The idea was that we would coordinate with our neighbors (none of whom we ever met, now that I think about it), and we would all plan to have a fuckathon at the same time to see who could be the loudest. In our little make-believe ideal, we would also have our windows open to share our joyous noises with the neighborhood, and hope to inspire more.

Under her hands, mouth, and tongue, I learned firsthand exactly what all of the exquisite torture I used to give my Angel felt like. In fact, not long after I had been thoroughly fucked by her several times, I made a lunch date with Angel and apologized profusely for never giving her a break. She got a big laugh out of that, saying that no apologies were required but she was glad I found what what it was like.

I also learned that, while it’s not exactly the same thing, the right dildo can be just as hot and satisfying as a real cock. Aside from masturbation, my only experiences with double-penetration have been with her. She never used an actual strap-on with me, but she did have a nice array of different sizes and lengths and we tried them all.

While the relationship itself was a disaster, she had an indelible impact on my life. I feel her presence in my life every day. Mostly because she had a large role in completely reshaping my tastes in music. When she and I met, I was listening to mostly Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson. She joined a band that would become my favorite band of all-time, Mofro. Through her I learned an appreciate for jazz, blues, soul, and even rap. If it were not for her, my musical tastes would not be nearly as eclectic as they are now. For that, I’ll forever be grateful.

One other interesting thing I wanted to share that came as a result of our relationship was something I like to call the Lesbian Name Game. I actually haven’t thought about it in a really long time until I started writing this. See, the Lesbian Name Game predicts the evolution of a woman’s name as she embraces being a lesbian. You start with a feminine given name which becomes a shortened masculine nickname and eventually ends up as just an initial. We saw this happen many times in the local community. For example, Bernice become Bernie and finally just Bea. Tonya would turn into Tony and then just T. She was actually never known as Bernie (I actually used to call her ‘ma bella Bernicio’ incorporating her middle initial O), but I did go through a Tony phase for a while. While I am no longer consider myself a lesbian, except for part-time sometimes for the right girl, many of my friends do call me T.

TMI Tuesday – Cum, are you a fan?

This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix.

Cum, are you a fan?

1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
The only thing that could possibly take the place of my sex addiction is Texas Hold Em. The only problem with that is that it takes money to play and I’ve got none. I guess I’m stuck with being a sex addict!
2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
No, but apparently he did? Because we’d loved each other for many years and after we finally had (amazing, mind-blowing, wonderful) sex, he stopped calling me and/or returning my calls. I’ve seen him a few times in the 7 years since then, and there is always this air of sadness about him. It makes me said too, but it was his decision and not mine.
3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
Absolutely! I love the way I taste, I love the shape and feel of my body. I know the exact right ways to touch, lick, and fuck my pussy to get myself off. I would start off by undressing myself. Next I would sensitize my whole body with the lightest of tickling caresses, followed by kisses over every square inch. Once I was writhing and panting, I would suckle and squeeze my breasts before slowly nibbling and kissing my way down to my pussy. I would not dive right in, however. I would tease myself by sucking on the place where my thigh meets my groin. Finally I would warm my pussy with my hot, moist breath and barely touch it with the tip of my tongue.
4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
How can one not be a fan? I love cum! Down my throat, dripping out of my cunt, sometimes on my face and body. I prefer to swallow it from a man, and be drenched in it by a woman.
5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?
Nope. I don’t believe in God. 😛 Besides, I don’t care who’s watching! I like to be watched! 😀
Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Sunday night Roland and I decided to hit up a few strip clubs because we hadn’t been to any in far too long. It was on our mind after his recent guest post.

The first place we went was my old favorite, Wackos. We stayed there for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. The vibe was totally different from how it used to be. The service sucked. And of the 6 girls we saw dance on stage (although the sign outside advertised 50), 4 of them were so skinny that it made me sick to my stomach. I am NOT attracted to skinny girls in the least. This one Cuban girl, though, she was yummy and I tipped her twice. I told her that I wanted to be smothered in her thighs. They were divine! She sat with us for a short while until she went on stage again. I was going to get a VIP dance from her, but she was lured away by a big group throwing around money as soon as she got off stage.

It got too smoky in there after that so we left and went to Roland’s old favorite, Tiffany’s, which was the scene of the lap dances that inspired his guest post. I thought I’d heard they closed down, but they appeared to be open with a banner outside announcing new management. The parking lot only had like 5 or 6 cars. We went inside and it was apparent that those cars belonged to the people working there: 3 dancers (none of them on stage, but sitting at the bar), a bartender, and 2 other bouncer-type guys. One of those guys said that they had just reopened but the official grand reopening wasn’t for a few days. We both had to go to the restroom before we decided what we were going to do. The ladies’ room was one of the grossest public bathrooms I have ever been in. Let’s just say that the flies were NOT the grossest thing about it. I was utterly skeeved, peed in there only because I was about to bust, and couldn’t get out fast enough. I told Roland I wanted to go and told him about the bathroom on the way out.
The last place we when is going to be my favorite place in town from now on. Converted into a gentlemans’ club from a Ryan’s Steakhouse many years ago, Emperors Club was amazing! The first thing I noticed as we walked in was how nice it smelled. And you could tell that it would still look decent once the lights were up, not something you can say about most nightclubs around here, not to mention strip clubs! There was a decent enough crowd scattered throughout the large space. We had only just sat down when a waitress promptly arrived to take our drink order. The large stage had two girls dancing, neither of whom looked like she was starving to death. Once that rotation shifted, the third girl to the stage was just how I like girls: thick with a big, luscious ass. Yum! So of course I tipped her right away. Unfortunately, she was one of those desperate, white trash dancers. She came to sit with us right away and proceeded to tell me about how sad her life is before asking if we wanted a dance. I told her that we’d only just arrived and maybe later. We didn’t see her again.

After that girl left was when the real fun began. Most of the girls were hot and/or energetic, looking like they were having a good time despite it being a relatively slow night. My favorite was a leggy redhead who was 5′ 9 1/2″ without her heels and who danced to “It’s No Good” by Depeche Mode. She instantly won my heart and I told her my name is “Yours” before offering her everything I have: my car, my man, my bank account. She said she had all of those things already, so I told her I have a cat I could offer. She said she could use a cat and I said that I think she would really love my pussy. 😉 My other favorite was a short, dark-skinned girl in glasses with an ass that was to die for. In fact, when I went up to tip her, she thoroughly assaulted my face and breasts with that ass. My boobs felt bruised afterward! It was fantastic! The girls that Roland tipped always waved me up to the stage to sandwich me between them and Roland so they could grope me and purr in my ear (which is apparently a specialty of the house because they all did it, save for that first girl). You know how hot that was! The shooter girl also took a fancy to me and screamed my name every time she came by like I was some kind of celebrity. She’d told me that she was actually a dancer but they were short-staffed and needed a shooter girl. She was smokin’ hot, too.

All in all, it was a great night. I came home smelling like delicious strippers and then Roland fucked me twice, until my pussy was too sore for more. He and I have decided that we will becoming regulars there. Who knows what wild tales I’ll soon have to tell?


How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Happy TMI Tuesday!

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