This week’s TMI Tuesday questions come from the wacky, inventive, and sexually creative mind of the late phoenix
Cum, are you a fan?
1. We are all incurable sex addicts, but name one thing—a job, a passion, a creative outlet, a collection—of yours you use as a replacement, a distraction from constantly thinking about sex 24/7.
The only thing that could possibly take the place of my sex addiction is Texas Hold Em. The only problem with that is that it takes money to play and I’ve got none. I guess I’m stuck with being a sex addict!
2. Have you ever loved somebody so much you thought having sex with them would actually sully the pristine purity of that love?
No, but apparently he did? Because we’d loved each other for many years and after we finally had (amazing, mind-blowing, wonderful) sex, he stopped calling me and/or returning my calls. I’ve seen him a few times in the 7 years since then, and there is always this air of sadness about him. It makes me said too, but it was his decision and not mine.
3. If you could make love to yourself, would you? Describe this experience in full detail.
Absolutely! I love the way I taste, I love the shape and feel of my body. I know the exact right ways to touch, lick, and fuck my pussy to get myself off. I would start off by undressing myself. Next I would sensitize my whole body with the lightest of tickling caresses, followed by kisses over every square inch. Once I was writhing and panting, I would suckle and squeeze my breasts before slowly nibbling and kissing my way down to my pussy. I would not dive right in, however. I would tease myself by sucking on the place where my thigh meets my groin. Finally I would warm my pussy with my hot, moist breath and barely touch it with the tip of my tongue.
4. Cum, are you a fan? Explain and expound.
How can one not be a fan? I love cum! Down my throat, dripping out of my cunt, sometimes on my face and body. I prefer to swallow it from a man, and be drenched in it by a woman.
5. Does it creep you out to know that God is watching you as you’re fucking?
Nope. I don’t believe in God. 😛 Besides, I don’t care who’s watching! I like to be watched! 😀
Bonus: Tell us something sexy that happened to you this week.
Sunday night Roland and I decided to hit up a few strip clubs because we hadn’t been to any in far too long. It was on our mind after his recent guest post
The first place we went was my old favorite, Wackos. We stayed there for about an hour, maybe an hour and a half. The vibe was totally different from how it used to be. The service sucked. And of the 6 girls we saw dance on stage (although the sign outside advertised 50), 4 of them were so skinny that it made me sick to my stomach. I am NOT attracted to skinny girls in the least. This one Cuban girl, though, she was yummy and I tipped her twice. I told her that I wanted to be smothered in her thighs. They were divine! She sat with us for a short while until she went on stage again. I was going to get a VIP dance from her, but she was lured away by a big group throwing around money as soon as she got off stage.
It got too smoky in there after that so we left and went to Roland’s old favorite, Tiffany’s, which was the scene of the lap dances that inspired his guest post. I thought I’d heard they closed down, but they appeared to be open with a banner outside announcing new management. The parking lot only had like 5 or 6 cars. We went inside and it was apparent that those cars belonged to the people working there: 3 dancers (none of them on stage, but sitting at the bar), a bartender, and 2 other bouncer-type guys. One of those guys said that they had just reopened but the official grand reopening wasn’t for a few days. We both had to go to the restroom before we decided what we were going to do. The ladies’ room was one of the grossest public bathrooms I have ever been in. Let’s just say that the flies were NOT the grossest thing about it. I was utterly skeeved, peed in there only because I was about to bust, and couldn’t get out fast enough. I told Roland I wanted to go and told him about the bathroom on the way out.
The last place we when is going to be my favorite place in town from now on. Converted into a gentlemans’ club from a Ryan’s Steakhouse many years ago, Emperors Club
was amazing! The first thing I noticed as we walked in was how nice it smelled. And you could tell that it would still look decent once the lights were up, not something you can say about most nightclubs around here, not to mention strip clubs! There was a decent enough crowd scattered throughout the large space. We had only just sat down when a waitress promptly arrived to take our drink order. The large stage had two girls dancing, neither of whom looked like she was starving to death. Once that rotation shifted, the third girl to the stage was just how I like girls: thick with a big, luscious ass. Yum! So of course I tipped her right away. Unfortunately, she was one of those desperate, white trash dancers. She came to sit with us right away and proceeded to tell me about how sad her life is before asking if we wanted a dance. I told her that we’d only just arrived and maybe later. We didn’t see her again.
After that girl left was when the real fun began. Most of the girls were hot and/or energetic, looking like they were having a good time despite it being a relatively slow night. My favorite was a leggy redhead who was 5′ 9 1/2″ without her heels and who danced to “It’s No Good” by Depeche Mode. She instantly won my heart and I told her my name is “Yours” before offering her everything I have: my car, my man, my bank account. She said she had all of those things already, so I told her I have a cat I could offer. She said she could use a cat and I said that I think she would really love my pussy. 😉 My other favorite was a short, dark-skinned girl in glasses with an ass that was to die for. In fact, when I went up to tip her, she thoroughly assaulted my face and breasts with that ass. My boobs felt bruised afterward! It was fantastic! The girls that Roland tipped always waved me up to the stage to sandwich me between them and Roland so they could grope me and purr in my ear (which is apparently a specialty of the house because they all did it, save for that first girl). You know how hot that was! The shooter girl also took a fancy to me and screamed my name every time she came by like I was some kind of celebrity. She’d told me that she was actually a dancer but they were short-staffed and needed a shooter girl. She was smokin’ hot, too.
All in all, it was a great night. I came home smelling like delicious strippers and then Roland fucked me twice, until my pussy was too sore for more. He and I have decided that we will becoming regulars there. Who knows what wild tales I’ll soon have to tell?
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Happy TMI Tuesday!